Lenio

Parenting a neurodivergent child? Learn to stay steady before you shout.

Before the shout: neurodivergent edition is a short course in emotional regulation for parents of children with ADHD, autism or both, and for parents who are neurodivergent themselves. The science in plain English, and small tools that work when the house is loud and your head is full.

  • 8 short lessons, 20 minutes each
  • Small tools to keep
  • Opens 30 November
  • Plus 3 months of Lenio free, from today

One payment. The price rises to £175 at launch.
If it doesn't help, full refund until 30 days after launch.

Not ready yet? Read a free lesson first

By Hom, the parent who made Lenio

6.52pm

The cup falls

Juice across the table. A sock seam that hurts, so the shoes won't go on. The fifth time you've asked. Something small, at the end of a day that has been loud since breakfast.

Their meltdown arrives fast and big, and you hear yourself shout. Or you go cold and quiet because there is nothing left. Afterwards, the house is still and you replay it.

You shouted. You're still a good parent.

A loose knot of pen line, painted in soft watercolour

A cup falls

A free illustrated story, 4 minutes. Slow this moment right down and notice what happens in your body.

Read the story
A few seconds earlier

The run-up

When you feel under threat, your body gets ready to act. Your heart speeds up, your jaw tightens, your voice gets louder. At the same moment, the part of your brain that plans and holds back gets quieter.

It is why a script you know by heart can vanish halfway through an argument.

When your child's nervous system runs hot, as it often does with ADHD or autism, the sparks come more often and travel faster. If you're neurodivergent too, noise, interruptions and switching between tasks can fill you up before anything has happened. You can learn to catch the run-up all the same.

The second you notice

The catch

The run-up is where you can step in. Noticing it a few seconds sooner is enough to change what happens next. Try the first step now, free.

Free lesson: The second before you snap

Losing your temper feels instant. It rarely is. There is a short run-up, and your body feels it before your mind catches up. This lesson helps you find your first sign. It takes three minutes.

1Where do you feel it first?

Think of the last time you snapped. Picture the moment just before. Where did it show up in your body?

Tap the one that fits. There is no wrong answer.

2What if I don't notice anything?

Most people don't, at first. Sensing what is happening inside your body is a skill, and scientists call it interoception. It gets quieter under stress, which is exactly when you need it. It also grows with practice.

So start where it's easy, and let the noticing move earlier.

  1. AfterwardsTonight, replay it. Where did it show up?
  2. DuringNext time, you catch it halfway through. That counts.
  3. BeforeThen a few seconds earlier. That is the gap you need.

3Try this today

  1. Write your word where you will see it, like your phone's lock screen.
  2. When you feel it, say the word to yourself. Nothing else yet.

Naming a feeling takes a little of its heat out. Researchers call this affect labelling.

Why this works

When something small tips you, your brain reads it as a threat, even though you know it isn't one. Stress hormones rise. Your heart speeds up, your breathing gets shallow and your muscles tighten. This is the same system that would help you jump out of the way of a car.

While that happens, the front of your brain works less well. That is the part that plans, weighs things up and stops you saying the thing you regret. Your good intentions are still there. For a minute or two, they are harder to reach. Your body's signal arrives first, which is why it makes such a good early warning.

See the whole course
8.30pm, bedtime done

Afterwards

Every parent loses it sometimes. What you do next matters a great deal. Going back, saying what happened and making it right shows your child that a rupture can be mended. Researchers call this repair.

The course: six core lessons, plus two for neurodivergent families

The core lessons follow the evening above, from what loads you up beforehand to how you put things right afterwards. Each lesson takes about 20 minutes, and most give you a small tool to try that week.

The six lessons across one evening A hand-drawn line shows one evening. It starts calm inside your window, rises through the run-up, crosses the top line where you snap, then comes back down. Lesson 1 sits on the calm stretch, lesson 2 at the spark, lessons 3 and 4 on the run-up, lesson 5 just before the line, and lesson 6 on the way back down. your window snap shut down the shout catch it here 1 2 3 4 5 6
  1. 1What loads you upFind the moments and old patterns that fill you up before anything happens.
  2. 2When their feelings set off yoursHow children borrow calm from the adults near them, and why a meltdown can pull you in.
  3. 3The second before you snapSpot your body's early warning signs. (Try the first step free, above.)
  4. 4Your stress response, in plain EnglishWhat happens in your body and brain, and why willpower alone runs out.
  5. 5Tools for the catchSmall moves for the seconds that matter, simple enough to use when your head is full.
  6. 6RepairWhat to say afterwards, so your child feels safe with you again.

For neurodivergent families

  1. 7When their nervous system runs hotMeltdowns, sensory overload and the "no" that lands like a threat. Why their run-up sets off yours, and low-demand moves for the minutes before.
  2. 8When you're neurodivergent tooADHD and autism often run in families. What a loud house and constant switching do to your window, and how to make every tool one step shorter.

What you'll have at the end

  • A body-signal map. Your own early warning signs, written down.
  • A pause plan. What you will do in the first ten seconds.
  • A one-minute reset for when you have already gone over.
  • A repair script in your own words, for afterwards.
  • A trigger log to spot your patterns over a few weeks.
  • A load list for two. What fills your child up and what fills you up, side by side, so you can see the hard hours coming.
  • A sensory plan for you. The small things that turn the volume down for your own body.

Included with your pre-order

3 months of Lenio, free

The course teaches you what to do before the hard moment. Lenio is there during it. It's a private chat you can open on your phone when you feel the run-up. It listens first, then helps you find one small next step.

You

Just shouted at him over his shoes. Again.

Lenio

That sounds like a hard morning. What was happening in you just before?

Worth £30. It starts the day you pre-order, so you can use it tonight. Nothing is charged afterwards unless you choose to stay.

Who's teaching this

I'm Hom. I built an app for Internal Family Systems (IFS) work, a respected therapy approach, and a practising therapist now uses it with her clients. I also built Lenio, which parents use in their hard moments.

I've spent over ten years learning how people get triggered, and I've meditated for the past five. When I had a child, a lot of that helped. I also found that children trigger our deepest insecurities. However many parenting books I read, there were always the hard days. The books told me what to do. I needed help doing it while I was already angry.

I'm neurodivergent myself, so I know how fast a loud evening fills a full head. The two extra lessons are the ones I needed most.

I don't have clinical training, so every lesson is built on published research, and each one names its sources. This course is what I wish I'd learnt first: what is going on in me in that moment, and a few small things I can actually use.

Hom, the parent who made Lenio

Pre-order Before the shout: neurodivergent edition

£49

One payment. £175 when the course opens on Monday 30 November

  • All eight lessons, including two for neurodivergent families
  • The seven tools, yours to keep
  • 3 months of Lenio free (worth £30)

If it doesn't help, get your money back. Full refund until 30 days after launch, no questions asked. Keep the 3 months of Lenio either way.

Questions

I go quiet rather than loud. Is it for me?

Yes. Going cold, quiet or checked out is the other way a body leaves its window. The course covers both, and the same skills help.

How is this different from free advice online?

Free advice tells you what to do. This course helps with the few seconds before you react, when that advice disappears. You learn your own early signs, practise a few small moves, and have Lenio for the hard moment itself.

How is this different from the standard course?

You get the same six lessons, plus two more for neurodivergent families and two extra tools. If you don't need those, the standard course is £39.

Does my child need a diagnosis?

No. If ADHD, autism, sensory needs or demand avoidance sound like your home, it's for you, with or without a diagnosis.

I'm the one with ADHD. Will it work for me?

Lesson 8 is for you. Every lesson is short and stands on its own, each tool is one small step, and nothing needs remembering in the moment.

Is this a treatment for ADHD or autism?

No. It is a course for you, the parent, about your own stress response. It works alongside any support your family already has, and it doesn't replace advice from your doctor, school or specialist.

What ages is it for?

It is written for parents of children from about 2 to 10. Most of it works with older children too.

What if I fall behind?

There is nothing to fall behind on. Each lesson stands on its own and takes about 20 minutes. Stop when life gets busy and pick up where you left off. Nothing expires.

Is it private?

Yes. The course is just for you, and nobody else sees what you write.

What happens after I pay?

You get a receipt and your Lenio link by email straight away, so your 3 free months start that day. On 30 November you get a second email with your way into the course.

I already pay for Lenio. What do I get?

We add 3 months of credit to your account, so your next three monthly payments are covered. Your plan carries on as normal afterwards.

Is this based on real science?

Yes. Each lesson builds on well-established research and tells you where it comes from, so you can read more if you want to. You'll learn:

  • why stress switches off the part of your brain that plans and holds back (Amy Arnsten, Yale)
  • why putting a feeling into words takes some of its heat out (Matthew Lieberman, UCLA)
  • what your "window of tolerance" is, and what pushes you out of it (Dan Siegel)
  • how children borrow calm from you, and why repairing after an argument matters so much (Ed Tronick's research on parents and babies)
  • why parenting a child with ADHD or autism is measurably more stressful, so it isn't a personal failing (meta-analyses by Theule and colleagues, 2013, and Hayes and Watson, 2013)
  • why ADHD so often runs in families (Faraone and Larsson's 2019 review of twin studies)